You wake up a little later than usual on Sunday. Having gotten a full night’s sleep, you feel completely rejuvenated and totally relaxed. Your kids come into your room and deliver you a perfectly plated eggs benedict with your favorite freshly brewed tea. Your partner walks in with the same purple orchids they bought you when your children were born. Then you happily eat as your kids read you the heartfelt poems they wrote you and clean up after you finish. Before you know it, you’re being driven to the beach for a beautiful hike with the family. No arguments among the kids, no complaints to report, just a hike filled with laughs and joy….

This, for some of us, is an optimal Mother’s Day morning filled with thankful thoughts and grateful gifts. But often, for many mothers, Mother’s Day morning does not play out that flawlessly… But how come? And why is it difficult to have one perfect morning?

Maybe more importantly, what can we do to make sure we’re all getting the most out of this Mother’s Day?

The Expectation of Gratitude

Well, let’s start with one potential difficulty: the expectation of gratitude. Many moms do not expect to receive gratitude on an everyday basis for their endless caretaker endeavors. And for some mothers, receiving a “thank you” for their tireless efforts are far and few between.

That said, on Mother’s Day, the tables have turned my friends! It’s the one day out of the year that we – moms – expect our kids to shine the spotlight on us, and express the gratitude we definitely deserve. And when that doesn’t happen on the one day we expect it to, it doesn’t feel like the perfect day.

The Role of Family Members in Optimizing Mother’s Day

As a daughter or a son, think about what you can do to show your gratitude on this special day. 

Knowing your mother, ask yourself, what will warm her heart and let her know you put thought and effort in making your appreciation for her known? And remember, gratitude is about bringing the good things to light, and appreciating what you have.

And as a mother, what can you do to make sure you’re getting the most out of this Mother’s Day?

Well, for starters it’s important to make your wishes known before the big day. A little nudge from mom expecting the extra effort, and a more giving attitude orients the rest of the family’s mind that it’s time to show how grateful they are.

So start putting the spotlight on yourself! For example, if you just want your kids to write you a meaningful and thankful card this year, let them know. Often, especially when kids are young, it’s not that they don’t notice their moms’ incredible efforts, it’s that they’ve become habituated to them, and expect them without showing their gratitude. So be vocal, and let them know you expect those “thank you’s” to take shape through the mediums you’d like!

Don’t Forget “ME TIME!”

Final tip about making Mother’s Day the best it can be: reinforce the expectation that today is about YOU! 

How? Maybe keep the celebration with family short and sweet. After all, everyone knows some frustration or a small argument is bound to break out if you’re spending the whole day with the whole family. So, for the second half of the day block out some TLC time for yourself! This could entail anything from going for a spa & massage treatment, meeting up with your girlfriends (without the kids of course), and/or just closing the door and reading, meditating, and contemplating what you are grateful for (your mom, perhaps?)

Whatever you choose to do, I hope you have a wonderful and happy Mother’s Day!